AWESOME JOKE FROM THE EMAIL BAG~

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet
rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender
who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she
seductively signals that he should bring his face
closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently
caress his full beard. "Are you the manager?" she
asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.
Actually, No," the man replies. "Can you get him for
me? I need to speak to him," she says, running her
hands beyond his beard and into his hair. Can't,"
breathes the bartender. "He's not here. Is there
anything I can do?" "Yes, there is. I need you to give
him a message," she continues, running her forefinger
across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple
of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck
them gently. What should I tell him?" the bartender
manages to say. "Tell him," she whispers, "there is no
toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the
ladies room."

Women and thier wiley ways!

Here's, yet another, example of that:

One day, while a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river,
her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared
and asked, "Why are you crying?" The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water, and she needed the thimble to make her living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "No."

The Lord again went down and came up with a wooden thimble. "Is this
your thimble?" the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, "No."

The Lord went down again and came up with a silver thimble. "Is this
your thimble?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three
thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

Some time later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the
riverbank, and her husband fell into the river. When she cried out, The Lord again appeared and asked her, Why are you crying?"

"Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the water!" The Lord went down into the water and came up with Mel Gibson. "Is this your husband?" the Lord asked. "Yes," cried the seamstress.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!" The seamstress
replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to Mel Gibson, you would have come up with Tom Cruise. Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor woman and am not able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said yes to Mel Gibson."

The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others.

That's our story, and we're sticking to it

~Another one from the email bag